I dont cry. But lately, I think "how the hell did this happen to me?" My body is always on the verge of just numb and eyes just start to feel watery blurry.
I convince myself there are more people worse off than I am. Things could be worse for me ... just look at the people on the streets.
Over the weekend, I had coffee with an attorney. He was telling me of some of his friends who were high powered attorneys and unemployed. A few of them have families and their homes are in foreclosure. Those are the people that I really feel for. When I hear those stories, I feel even more paralyzed. One of the challenges for me personally is that I hear these issues everyday. I'm not getting immune from these stories, but these stories are staying with me all day...all of them... cumulatively.
One of the only times I dont feel helpless is at my PinkSlipMixers.com events. For those few hours, they just seem to forget about being unemployed and the events are their "job". I think the interaction with others gives them some purpose and their substitute for work. I know I'm only just helping 30 or 40 people a night, but it makes me forget I have problems.
I'm trying to be as positive as possible. I really need to concentrate on myself, but when I do that the community project just seems to stall. And when it stalls, I get flack from what "monday morning mixer quarterbacks". I know I should find more recruiters. I know I should find more quality job seekers to network with. I know I should find sponsors to fund this project. I know I shouldnt air out "how I feel because I'm the leader of the unemployed and if I show negativity then its bad". I fucking know already.
I know I need to concentrate on me. I know more people are worse off. I know many people dont have anyone to turn to. At least I have friends and family to turn to.
Even though I know... how can I help me when others are worse off than me.
I dont know how I am going to continue to do this. I dont know if I want to find a job. I dont know how to pay for gas. I dont know when I'll have a life again. I just dont know any more.
Lets get this recession done with.
ps: I dont fucking want to do MLM opportunities... I see YOUR fucking vision so dont throw that in my face. I'm a fan of network marketing but I dont have $500 to join and neither do my other unemployed friends.
pss... help me find recruiters to attend my pinkslipmixers.com events. i'm tired of hearing flack from lame job seekers... http://ping.fm/015x3
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